I’ve been in quite the thinking mood lately; I want to know where my life is going, but it’s hard when I’m somewhat stuck.
I feel slightly stressed because my school is trying to screw me over, and I’d really like to go to school this summer. I don’t want to have to pay $1600 that I know I don’t owe. However, I’m dreading the discussion I’ll have to have with them to get everything sorted out.
Not only that, but I’ve been thinking about the future. Children, mostly, and whether or not I even want to have them. It’s funny–growing up, I couldn’t imagine not having children, and now that it’s actually a possibility? I’m not sure it’s something I want. Even if it is something I want, I’m hoping to wait until I have a degree and a career sorted out. Plus, I’d like to do some travelling. Will I even be young enough to have a child when I’m finished with all of that?
I’m only twenty, and Josh is only twenty-two, so I know we have time. We’ve discussed children before, but never seriously (and we definitely don’t want one anytime soon due to financial instability); and I just wonder if it’s even in the cards for us.
I always had this fear that I would never be able to have children. I decided that if I couldn’t, I’d adopt. Now, though, I don’t think I would. I think I would just move on and live my life without a child. Of course, as a woman, I’m sure I’d crave being a mother, which is what ultimately keeps the question in my head.
There are so many things I want to do in my life before I have to truly settle. I just have to ask myself, what will I regret more? Not having a child or having one?
It remains unanswered.
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
I just did a post about this a couple of days ago. I KNOW I’m so not ready for kids, there’s SO much I want to do before that (I’m only 20 too). But you guys have LOTS of time to get things done
Well the good news is you are young and have lots of time. And like you said you have a pseudo-plan that if you want to have kids, you can adopt.
I go through phases on things like this as well, but hey, we are young and we have plenty of time to figure all this stuff out!