Twitter:

Although the Fail Whale is wonderfully illustrated and somewhat fun to see every once in a while, I’m getting slightly annoyed by it. I’ve refreshed the page probably about ten times, and FW continues to grace my screen with its presence. Fix this, thanks.

-@somewhatvoluble

—

Weather:

I’m just going to be blunt: you’re really annoying. I’m not sure that I’ve done anything in the past to hurt your feelings, so why are you being so moody? Saturday, it was sunny and seventy; yesterday, you showed signs of rain, but it was still warm; today, it is cold out, and you are threatening to snow tomorrow. I’m not happy with this. I was so ready to pack up the winter clothing and ride my new bike, but it looks like I may have to wait another week. Maybe we can be friends again in the future, but right now? I’m not happy with you at all.

From,
A girl looking forward to spring

—

Dearest Husband,

Please finish the basement soon, so I can walk around in my pajamas on Saturday.

Love,
Your Patient Wife

—

Hey, Uterus…

You suck. Thanks for the cramps. Not.

-You Know Who

P.S. My husband doesn’t appreciate you.

—

Dear readers:

Look out for another contest on my blog later in the week. It’s a good one, and if you love to write, I’m sure you’ll enjoy the gift!

-Someone who LOVES giveaways