I won’t lie — I’ve been avoiding this blog like the plague. Why? I adore this blog, but it was beginning to feel like an obligation rather than a want.
My life is at another standstill. While I enjoy my job (and the money that comes along with it), I feel like life is becoming routine. I feel like I’m missing my purpose. There is nothing left to look forward to. My first wedding anniversary has come and gone; children are too far off in the future that it’s not even a topic of discussion. What’s next? It’s a question that I’ve been asking myself.
When I dropped out of college in my second semester, I figured I’d go back the next fall. Well, that time came and went as did the following spring semester. Here it is, fall once again, and I feel the need to go back. I feel the tug at my heartstrings as I walk by the school supplies or happen upon Facebook statuses mentioning class registration. (I’m not even kidding.) I miss doing homework and feeling like I have a career to look forward to.
What I do now (secretarial work, in simple terms) isn’t what I want for a career. I once thought it was, but it isn’t. I want to be a counselor. I want to be a grief counselor for children and teens, specifically. I want to be someone a child can come to when their grandparents die. For this to happen, though, I must earn a degree. It’s not just a need anymore; I want it.
Remember when I was planning to go back to school only to have my school say that I owed over $1000 (even though I had thought I only owed $224)? I was discouraged. I lost hope. I quickly gave up (because I didn’t have the time or the energy to fix it).
That all changed when Husband said he’d be registering for classes this semester. I contacted my school, and much to my relief, they informed me that it was all a huge mistake on their part … I only owe the $224, then I can go back to school. Then I can take my life back.
I don’t know if I’ll go back to school this semester. (If so, classes start in a couple weeks, so I’d need to get in gear). I’ll definitely be back by next semester. I feel relieved. Even though I won’t even get my associates degree until 2011 (at the earliest), I’m ready to move forward.
And maybe the topic of children won’t be too far off after that.
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