“We do not change as we get older; we just become more clearly ourselves.”*

I hope that is how I’m living. I hope that I’m becoming more clearly myself, rather than going down the path that isn’t wholly me. How can we tell? Is our life planned out for us, written in permanent marker? Or do we have the pencil, allowing us to draw/erase our own path? Are we genetically pre-determined, some higher being knowing just what we’ll become?

Thanksgiving was once my favorite holiday. It still is, in some ways, but it doesn’t have that same ring to it. It isn’t something I look forward to (anymore), nor is it something I dread. It just is. The last Thanksgiving I spent with my paternal grandparents (together) was in 2003. It’s been six years, and really, has it been that long? Has it taken me six years to come to a point where I can say, “I’m okay. I can breathe through it”? I’ve spent six years holding my breath through holidays, holding back tears. Even just last year, I wanted to crawl in a hole and let the holidays pass by me. What has changed? Have I become more wholly myself?

Granny and I always made the stuffing together. The last year she was alive, before she knew it would be her last Thanksgiving, she let me make the stuffing on my own, showing me that I could do it … That I was old enough, finally, to take something on without her. Little did I know that I would soon have to take on life without her … But I have been, and I will continue to do so. (Without her physically, at least.)

When she was diagnosed with lung cancer in May of 2004, I was already prepared. I knew it was coming one day. Afterall, she had smoked for decades. What I wasn’t prepared for was the day she wouldn’t beat it, just three months later. I don’t blame her, though. She didn’t just give up.  She was ready, and her body was tired of fighting. She fought long enough to show me the true meaning of life–to love wholly and to live without regrets.

So, this Thanksgiving, I will enjoy it without regretting that my Granny (and Pawpaw, her husband) are no longer here. On my 21st birthday (in just less than a week), I will love wholly and be thankful for another year of life. If she were alive today, she’d pass me a beer; knowing I’m not a fan of beer, she’d say, “Try it, Meg … because you may not have a chance tomorrow.” So, in honor of her, I might tip one back, unwillingly, and with the blue sparkle in my eye that matches hers, I will continue to live without regrets–becoming more clearly myself.

*I’m unsure where this quote comes from. Ironically, it was in a spam comment on my blog.

What are your middle names?
Leigh & Tyler.

How long have you been together?
Such a hard question to answer. We’ve been dating since January 13, 2007. We’ve been engaged since November 6, 2007. We’ve been married since June 17, 2008. However, we were emotionally “together” long before we started dating.

How long did you know each other before you started dating?
Before we officially started dating, we had known each other for two years.

Who asked whom out?
He asked me if I was his girlfriend, so I guess he asked me out in a way.

How old are each of you?
I’m twenty (twenty-one in less than two weeks!), and he is twenty-two (twenty-three in a little over a month).

Whose siblings do you see the most?
Hmm. Maybe his? He has a younger brother that lives less than one minute from our house. My siblings (a younger sister and younger brother) live about 15-20 minutes from us.

Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple?
Probably balancing out our schedules.

Did you go to the same school?
We went to the same high school, though he graduated shortly after we met. 

Are you from the same home town?
I’m actually from Florida (though I moved to Tennessee in 2001); he’s lived in the same town his entire life.

Who is smarter?
He is so much smarter about random things. I’m pretty much only “book smart.”

Who is the most sensitive?
That would be me.

Where do you eat out most as a couple?
It just really depends. We don’t have one specific restaurant we eat at all the time.

Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?
Florida to visit my family (about nine hours away).

Who has the craziest exes?
Luckily, we don’t deal with exes. We both have them, but they’re not people we have to come across often. Thankfully. (We each only have one significant ex, and we haven’t talked to them in years.)

Who has the worst temper?
Probably him … I usually don’t get angry very easily, though I’ll cry at the drop of a hat.

Who does the cooking?
We both do. When we lived together before getting married, he cooked most often. Now, we both share the task.

Who is the neat-freak?
Honestly, neither. We have our moments of neat-ness, but we can be pretty messy. I think I’m more organized in my head than he is. (I even keep a mental schedule of what HE has to have done!)

Who is more stubborn?
Husband. Boy, is he stubborn! 

Who hogs the bed?
I like to think we share it equally.

Who wakes up earlier?
Me. I wake up around 5-5:30am (for work), while he wakes up hours later sometimes.

Where was your first date?
Oh, geez. What would I consider our first date? I mean, we went out with some friends a year or two before we started dating, and he paid for me. Our relationship has always been so backwards. For instance, we knew we’d get married BEFORE we even started dating. I think we meant so much to each other that we wanted to wait until we KNEW it would last.

Who is more jealous?
We’re both jealous people, I think, but I’d show it more. Luckily, we don’t have anything to be jealous about right now.

How long did it take to get serious?
A day? Like I said, we told each other “I love you” before  we started dating. I think it was serious the day we met, though we didn’t realize it right away.

Who eats more?
Husband.

Who does the laundry?
I usually do, but he helps out if I need him to.

Who’s better with the computer?
I know my fair share about how a computer operates, but he knows more of the WHY it operates.

Who drives when you are together?
It depends on which car we drive. Even then, we take turns. 

*I saw this over at Amber’s and Rachel’s.