August 2010

My classes start on Saturday. MY CLASSES START ON SATURDAY. Obviously, I’m a bit excited, but I’m also anxious. I have a knot in my stomach, and I just want to get started so that I know what to expect. Right now, I have no idea what to expect for each class, and that makes me nervous. I’m taking Astronomy with a lab (all online), and though I’m really excited to learn a bit more about our universe, I’m still very nervous because I haven’t taken a science since my junior year of high school.

I’m also excited & nervous about my Religions of the World class. Though I live in the Bible belt where the majority are Christian, I’ve become very open-minded about religion. (And I have my own thoughts on religion and what I believe in, but that’s probably for another post–I just don’t want to step on toes!) I’m beyond thrilled that I will be learning about different religions around the world; I just hope I can grasp the concept of each.

I’m mostly on the fence when it comes to my U.S. History II class. I’ve already taken U.S. History I online, and it went well (after dropping out of the class in the spring of 2008, back when I dropped out of school completely). I’m not a huge history fan, but I can do the work, so I’m not extremely excited about the class … But I’m hoping that I can be excited about learning about the past.

Lastly, I’m taking Intro to Abnormal Psychology, so it goes along with my major. I’m obviously excited about it because I’m looking forward to learning more about the human brain and moving toward my end goal–becoming a psychologist/counselor. I’ve only taken Psychology 101, Human Growth & Development, and Child Growth & Development when it comes to psychology classes, so I’m glad to be moving forward with more classes toward my major.

I’m mostly excited about school starting because that means I’m one step closer to the end.

*Thanks so much to Aly for sending me the picture from my flickr account, since flickr is blocked at work!

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Between my brother-in-law moving into his dorm and being away from work all of last week while in Florida, I realize I’m not exactly where I’d like to be in my life.

Let me back up for a minute.

I started working when I was sixteen, and I’ve been working since. It’s my number one priority in life, and I don’t want it to be. Not right now, at least. My future career is important to me, but a job? Well, it’s just a job. It pays my bills, which is nice, but does it really produce happiness? Not so much. I’ve been putting school on the backburner for far too long now. Yes, I’m going full time–I’m actually taking thirteen hours this semester–but all of my classes are online, and I really do miss actually GOING to school and learning in a classroom. With my schedule now, I really don’t have that option unless I want to take night classes that last for hours, therefore compromising my at-home time.

I feel like I’ve grown up too quickly. I know, I know. I got married young, but I honestly don’t even connect the fact that I’m married to any of the stress in my life. In fact, being with my husband has helped to reduce the stress in my life because I always know that I have someone going through all of this “growing up” with me.

I’m only twenty-one (well, I will be twenty-two in December), and Husband is only twenty-three (twenty-four in December). We’re so young, but I feel so rushy-rushy when it comes to my life. I want to have everything here and now. I want to finish school, buy/build a house, settle down, have a baby or two. BUT I’M ONLY TWENTY-ONE. I seriously have to give myself time-outs to remember that fact.

So, Husband and I have been talking. We’d really like to put a main focus on school right now and enjoy it because we never had the “college experience,” even though we’ve been in-and-out of college for years (three years for me and five years for him). We’re going to have to transfer to a university soon–there’s only so much a community college can offer–so we’ll have to move. This move may take place sooner than we had originally planned because we are so ready to move forward. Yes, this means we’ll be moving out of our rent-free house, so we’ll have to start paying rent again. Yes, I’m hoping to go down to just part-time work so that I can focus my energy on school and my LIFE. Yes, this means we won’t get to go out to eat as often and we’ll have to start budgeting. You know what, though? I’m learning to be okay with that. I’ve been getting a nice paycheck for so long that I’ve let money take over my life. I forgot about how we paid an enormous rent payment every month a couple years ago when we were barely making ANY money, and we seemed fine then.

I’m just ready to not let work take over my life for a little while. I want to focus on school and learning to sew and hiking with my husband on nice days like today (instead of feeling trapped in a cubicle).

I’m not sure when all of this will happen. We’re just in the beginning stages of planning/thinking about what to do next (which is why this post is mostly jumbled thoughts).

I’m a little bit excited, though, and I’m ready for a dash of adventure added to my life.

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