(I won’t be sharing too many private details as this is more my sister’s story to tell, but I’d really like to tell the birth story of my nephew from my perspective. It is something I’d like to look back on for the rest of my life.)
My sister went to the hospital twice with “false alarms.” Well, not really false alarms, but her body just wasn’t ready yet. Thursday morning, however, she woke up in pain. She was texting me about the pain, as was my mom, so I decided on my own to leave work early. At first, I wanted to go home to take a nap because I had a feeling about yesterday, and I wanted the strength to help my sister. Then, instead of turning toward home, I had the urge to go to my parents’ house, so I did. I was planning on telling Mom that if she wanted to take Amanda to the hospital, I would take care of picking up the kids (my brother and cousin) from school. However, when I got to the house, they were gone. I called immediately, and Mom said, “She’s just in so much pain, I’m taking her to the hospital! Can you take care of picking up the kids?” We were obviously on the same page.
I ended up heading home, and I threw some clothes in the wash. I thought I had plenty of time, and Husband was at school still. However, Mom soon text me sometime after 10:55 a.m. to let me know that my sister was at 4cm dilated and starting labor. Her waters were bulging, and she was 90% effaced. I called Husband and told him to head home as I waited for clothes to dry. Finally, my clothes dried and Husband was home. Everyone was calling me, and I have to admit I was getting a bit snappy. When Mom had called, I could hear Amanda screaming in the background, and I started shaking and crying, thinking I wouldn’t make it for her. I put a rush on it. (I won’t say how fast I drove, but it was faster than I should have been driving. I kept my hazards on. The hospital is over an hour away, and we made it in about forty-five minutes, I think.) It was after noon when I arrived, and Husband offered to park the car while I ran to my sister’s room.
When I got to the room, she was yelling. I went immediately to her side and started talking to her. She said, “it hurts!” and I said, “I know.” She came back with a, “YOU DON’T KNOW!” and I said, “You’re right, Amanda. I don’t know how bad it feels. Just remember that this pain is temporary. You’re bringing your baby into this world.” She suddenly had the urge to push. (I had reminded her days before that, even if she felt like she needed to push, she needed to wait until the doctors said it was okay. I guess she remembered this, because she started asking if she was allowed to push.) They told her she was at 8cm (yes, she went from 4cm to 8cm in just a little over an hour!), and that she’d have to wait until she was 9cm.
Amanda wanted an epidural. She wasn’t prepared for the pain (how could anyone be?!), but her platelets were low–due to a blood disorder she had when she was younger, I think–and the doctors didn’t want to risk paralysis. They did, however, give her something else to ease the pain. I remember, at one point, when she was pushing, she was mostly yelling. The doctor told her how ineffective this was and that she was tightening her belly, rather than anything down below. I told her, “listen to the doctor! He will coach you through the pushes. You have to do this for Hayden.” After that, she asked the nurse if she was allowed to push, and her pushes were great! My dad was in the room, too (after Amanda had been yelling, “I WANT MY DADDY!”), and he was counting out the pushes. He did a great job, and he was an amazing coach for her.
I remember that Amanda kept saying, “he’s not coming! When will he be here? It hurts so bad! My back feels like it’s breaking!” I said, “Yes, he’s coming!” The nurse told her that she could see his hair. Amanda started crying and forgot about the pain for a split second, saying, “he has hair?” It was a beautiful moment.
Eventually, knowing I had some time, I took my brother and cousin to grab some lunch in the cafeteria. I also ate because I hadn’t eaten all day. I then rushed back to my sister’s room, and Hayden was crowning at that point! They put a mirror at the end of the bed for her, and I think it really motivated her (plus, some of the pain meds were kicking in) because she wasn’t yelling as much. Any time she started to yell, I rubbed her head, and said “Shhhh, remember to breathe,” and she would stop yelling and start breathing. I kept an ice pack on her head because she was getting hot, and I stroked her hair. At this point, she was pushing about four times, ten seconds each, before taking a break. Finally, the doctors said, “IT’S TIME!” and I couldn’t hold back my tears anymore. The doctors rushed to put the bed in position, and everyone else got into position. Dad was at Amanda’s right side, timing out her pushes. I was at the left, keeping her cool, holding her head, reminding her to breathe. Mom was also at the left, holding her leg and reminding her to breathe, too. (Mom had a great view of Hayden, too!) I kept trying to motivate her between pushes, saying things like, “He’s coming!” and “I can see his head!” and that really helped her out. She pushed and pushed, and his head was finally out! The doctors told her to stop for a minute (I guess so they could turn him?), and then it was time to push again. She pushed (I don’t know how many times), and he was finally here at 2:08 p.m. after less than two hours of pushing (which I hear is amazing for a first-timer). I said, “You did it, your baby is here!” and she started crying immediately. Of course, that caused me to start crying (okay, it was more like sobbing), and I looked up and both Mom and Dad were crying. We heard Hayden’s cry, and Mom cut the cord. Amanda looked at me, and said “I did it! I did it without an epidural!” You could tell she was euphoric, and I thought she had completely forgot about the pain in that moment, but then she said, “I’m never having another one. I’ll just have Hayden.”
Hayden is such a healthy boy. They both had a slight temperature at first, but they were able to get them down. He weighed 8 lb, 8.5 oz and was 20.5 inches long. He has a healthy cry. Later, when Amanda was moved to another room, they finally brought Hayden back in to see her, and his eyes were on his mommy. (She was thinking about trying to breast feed, but in that moment, she decided not to. I told her that it was completely up to her. It’s such a personal choice!) Anyway, she fed him about 10 mL before burping him, then she was getting tired, so I fed him another 17 mL. He’s a healthy eater! I burped him, and he fell asleep in my arms.
I’m already so in love. He’s such a beautiful baby, and he looks so much like Amanda did when she was a baby. I’ve often mentioned how my sister and brother are my “babies.” I’ve always felt so protective of them. Amanda and I are only twenty-one months apart, so we’ve always been close. I’m seriously bubbling with pride right now. She did such an amazing job, and I’m so glad she wanted me there with her. She is an amazing woman, and I know she’ll be a great mother.
Well, I’m sorry of this was long, but I wanted to write about my experience. I’m actually about to get ready and head to hospital again to see Hayden and Amanda. I want to thank every one for all of the well wishes! My sister really appreciates the support. She is now a single mother, so she needs the love and support right now.
P.S. Amanda said to me afterward, “so when will Hayden have a cousin?” and I laughed and said, “After that? It might be a long while!” because OUCH. Birth is definitely a beautiful thing, though.
Also, I’m thinking of allowing blogger friends to chip in their spare change so that I can buy her a pack of diapers/wipes or something else she’ll need from bloggers! If you’d like to add your spare change, let me know!
[1 day old]
[2 days old]
[N is for Nephew--Part of the Alphabet Project]
