It seems as if, while the rest of this year has gone by quickly, May has come to a halt. The minutes move by slowly on the clock, and I just wish this week would move a bit quicker so that June could come along. Luckily, I have a three-day weekend coming up, so I’ll be able to relax a bit. Next week is only a three-day week at work because I’m getting my wisdom teeth removed on Friday. I’m slightly nervous about that, but I think all will be well.

All of my favorite television shows (How I Met Your Mother, Parenthood, Grey’s Anatomy, and The Big Bang Theory) have had their season finales, so there is nothing to watch on television. I’ve been finding myself reading in the afternoons–right now, I’m reading The Lovely Bones–but it hasn’t sped things along. Lately, life has seemed a bit on the boring side, and I know I could do something to change it; however, I’m trying to learn how to enjoy the slowness of time.

I want to fill my evenings with things to do that will keep me busy, but I won’t. I’m learning to enjoy sitting and relaxing with a book in my hand, the television off, and sunshine boiling in through the window. I know that I will be over-stressed with too much to do come August–when classes begin–so I’m trying to learn how to enjoy the fact that I literally have nothing on my plate right now (aside from work, of course).

I’m finding myself wishing that I would’ve taken a class this summer. Hopefully, once June hits, I’ll find a love for the “boring moments” in life again. In the latter half of June, I’ll be taking a trip with Husband for our second wedding anniversary; at some point this summer, I will be taking a trip with Husband and my in-laws to the beach and possibly to a cabin. I’m trying to plan going to baseball games (though I’ve never been a fan of baseball) and cookouts, just to enjoy the moments that can only exist in the summer. I’m learning to enjoy the simplicity of life, but it’s hard.

How do you make yourself okay with the “boring moments” in life? How do you “stay busy” without really staying busy?

As I was thinking of what to blog about this morning, I realized that I sort of forgot how to write about my life. I have random ideas of what I’d like to write down, but they remain ideas. I can’t fully convey them in a written–or typed–way anymore. Is it my lack of patience or my inability to focus on anything BUT research papers. Sometimes I’d like it if my life came with an encyclopedia that I could cite. Of course, that’s not happening, so I must take the time out to actually focus and contemplate my life. Writing has always been therapeutic for me, and I don’t want it to become a “must-do” task, but sometimes, I have to force it upon myself to free up the tension between it and I.

I think it’s about time I start taking control of my life. Honestly, so far, I’ve let life control me a little. It’s easier that way. Things just fall into place sometimes, and it’s nice not having to make decisions. When I felt myself getting stressed last week over what to make for dinner, though, I knew it was time to reevaluate. Deciding what to make for dinner should not make me want to curl up on my couch eating chocolate ice cream while crying and watching Sex and the City. It shouldn’t upset me that much.

When I was fifteen, I had a “plan” for my life–married by age twenty-one(check), finished with school by age twenty-three (not going to happen), buy a house and have a baby and an awesome career by age twenty-five (yeah, right). As we all know, plans usually don’t work out. Why, though? What happens in between? Life, of course … But when do we stop controlling how our life pans out? When do we lose the grip we have on all of those big plans?

While I’m okay with not receiving my Bachelor’s degree until I’m probably twenty-five, I’m sometimes not okay with the fact that I may be nearly thirty by the time we’re ready to start a family. I told Husband the other day that I’d rather just get my Bachelor’s degree, have a baby, and go back to school for my Master’s when the baby is old enough to start school. (To do what I want to do, I need my Master’s.) Is that realistic, though? Is it idiotic to have a “plan,” even though I know it probably won’t pan out exactly in the way I want it to? There’s a time in everyone’s life in which we must allow life to take control, allowing the chips to fall where they may … But when is the appropriate time to take back the reigns and steer life the way you want it to go?