As I was thinking of what to blog about this morning, I realized that I sort of forgot how to write about my life. I have random ideas of what I’d like to write down, but they remain ideas. I can’t fully convey them in a written–or typed–way anymore. Is it my lack of patience or my inability to focus on anything BUT research papers. Sometimes I’d like it if my life came with an encyclopedia that I could cite. Of course, that’s not happening, so I must take the time out to actually focus and contemplate my life. Writing has always been therapeutic for me, and I don’t want it to become a “must-do” task, but sometimes, I have to force it upon myself to free up the tension between it and I.

I think it’s about time I start taking control of my life. Honestly, so far, I’ve let life control me a little. It’s easier that way. Things just fall into place sometimes, and it’s nice not having to make decisions. When I felt myself getting stressed last week over what to make for dinner, though, I knew it was time to reevaluate. Deciding what to make for dinner should not make me want to curl up on my couch eating chocolate ice cream while crying and watching Sex and the City. It shouldn’t upset me that much.

When I was fifteen, I had a “plan” for my life–married by age twenty-one(check), finished with school by age twenty-three (not going to happen), buy a house and have a baby and an awesome career by age twenty-five (yeah, right). As we all know, plans usually don’t work out. Why, though? What happens in between? Life, of course … But when do we stop controlling how our life pans out? When do we lose the grip we have on all of those big plans?

While I’m okay with not receiving my Bachelor’s degree until I’m probably twenty-five, I’m sometimes not okay with the fact that I may be nearly thirty by the time we’re ready to start a family. I told Husband the other day that I’d rather just get my Bachelor’s degree, have a baby, and go back to school for my Master’s when the baby is old enough to start school. (To do what I want to do, I need my Master’s.) Is that realistic, though? Is it idiotic to have a “plan,” even though I know it probably won’t pan out exactly in the way I want it to? There’s a time in everyone’s life in which we must allow life to take control, allowing the chips to fall where they may … But when is the appropriate time to take back the reigns and steer life the way you want it to go?

I’ve never been a very opinionated person. It’s hard for me to point out the negative in something, especially if that something is someone else’s pride and joy. If I read a book that I end up not liking, I’m the one saying, “It was a great story, even though the writing wasn’t my style.” I never felt it fair to critique someone’s writing when they had worked so hard on it.

Even with music and movies, I’m not a fan of critique. (Don’t get me wrong, I love reading reviews/critiques; I just can’t dish them out.) Just recently, I bought Ingrid Michaelson’s new album, and it has taken me a while to warm up to it. While the songs are catchy, they’re very different from her first albums. I adore Ingrid Michaelson (I even follow her on twitter), and she has an amazing voice, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed at first listen. However, after a while, I’m okay with it. I realize that artists change, and I still adore her voice.

I always feel sort of bad for artists/actors/musicians/writers. Every time they complete something, it goes through a review process. Even if the majority loves it, there will always be someone “hating” it. I can’t imagine what they go through, having to deal with that on a regular basis. I suppose it just comes with the territory.

Even though I despise giving negative feedback, I’m considering writing reviews every once in a while on this blog. While I’ll mostly review/suggest things I love, I know I’ll run across things I’m not so fond of. I’m just trying to figure out how to deal with those without being incredibly hurtful.

What do you think about reviews?