After some thinking, I decided to ask my boss if I could go down to 4-day weeks from September 17th to the last Friday in October. (Luckily, my boss is awesome, and he approved it.) I think having Fridays off to completely devote to school will really help me to bring my focus back to where it needs to be.

I know that losing eight hours a week will decrease my paycheck each week, but I’m willing to do it. I just really need to do this to achieve the “work less, live more” goal I have set for my life.

What do you do when life gets a bit overwhelming?

I’ve been seeing “4 simple goals” posts around the blogging community lately, and I love writing down my goals, so I thought I’d join in. The point of these simple goals is not to focus on the end result but to focus on the journey that gets you there. So, this fall, I’m going to focus on these four goals.

1. Plan dates with Husband that we can BOTH enjoy. I often plan things that I know he’ll be okay with but not necessarily like (going to the movies, walking around in a city). For the rest of the year, I want to plan dates that we’ll both be excited about: hiking trips with picnics, riding our bikes to the creek, camping adventures on the weekend, board games & movie nights at home, making s’mores over a fire in our backyard. My husband LOVES these things, and I really want to take these next few months to appreciate him and show my love for this amazing man that I’ll be spending the rest of my life with.

2. Find a healthy routine for my lifestyle. I go through phases of eating healthy, but I really want to make it a main priority in my life. I want to know and understand what is going into my body. Though I know I’ll splurge occasionally on cupcakes and cookies (because I love to bake!), I want to make a point to bring healthier foods for lunch at work and cook dinners with healthier aspects. I also want to take some time to tone up and get into shape. I’ve been very lazy lately, and I want to start running and biking this fall to lower the risk of high blood pressure and an unhealthy weight later in life.

3. Work less, live more. I’ve written about my thoughts toward working less and putting my focus on my marriage and school, but I haven’t taken any action yet. For the rest of the year, I’m going to start making final decisions on what the next plan of action will be, and then I’m going to actually do it.

4. Find a clear separation between my offline life and my online life. I need balance. I need to step away from the computer/cell phone/television/ipod and really focus on myself within. I need to spend more time outdoors and more time doing nothing and loving it. Life is always go-go-go, but I’d really like it to have a few pauses in there when I just step away and enjoy sitting in the grass while the wind blows.

If you had to choose four goals (focusing on the journey) for the rest of the year, what would they be?

[The way Eris curls up, so tiny, when she's sleepy.]

[My sister's baby bump at 13 weeks, 2 days. (She'll be 14 weeks on Saturday.)]

[Florida skies and roadtrips.]

[Being with my husband & enjoying the world.]

What are you loving right now?

My classes start on Saturday. MY CLASSES START ON SATURDAY. Obviously, I’m a bit excited, but I’m also anxious. I have a knot in my stomach, and I just want to get started so that I know what to expect. Right now, I have no idea what to expect for each class, and that makes me nervous. I’m taking Astronomy with a lab (all online), and though I’m really excited to learn a bit more about our universe, I’m still very nervous because I haven’t taken a science since my junior year of high school.

I’m also excited & nervous about my Religions of the World class. Though I live in the Bible belt where the majority are Christian, I’ve become very open-minded about religion. (And I have my own thoughts on religion and what I believe in, but that’s probably for another post–I just don’t want to step on toes!) I’m beyond thrilled that I will be learning about different religions around the world; I just hope I can grasp the concept of each.

I’m mostly on the fence when it comes to my U.S. History II class. I’ve already taken U.S. History I online, and it went well (after dropping out of the class in the spring of 2008, back when I dropped out of school completely). I’m not a huge history fan, but I can do the work, so I’m not extremely excited about the class … But I’m hoping that I can be excited about learning about the past.

Lastly, I’m taking Intro to Abnormal Psychology, so it goes along with my major. I’m obviously excited about it because I’m looking forward to learning more about the human brain and moving toward my end goal–becoming a psychologist/counselor. I’ve only taken Psychology 101, Human Growth & Development, and Child Growth & Development when it comes to psychology classes, so I’m glad to be moving forward with more classes toward my major.

I’m mostly excited about school starting because that means I’m one step closer to the end.

*Thanks so much to Aly for sending me the picture from my flickr account, since flickr is blocked at work!

Let me back up for a minute.

I started working when I was sixteen, and I’ve been working since. It’s my number one priority in life, and I don’t want it to be. Not right now, at least. My future career is important to me, but a job? Well, it’s just a job. It pays my bills, which is nice, but does it really produce happiness? Not so much. I’ve been putting school on the backburner for far too long now. Yes, I’m going full time–I’m actually taking thirteen hours this semester–but all of my classes are online, and I really do miss actually GOING to school and learning in a classroom. With my schedule now, I really don’t have that option unless I want to take night classes that last for hours, therefore compromising my at-home time.

I feel like I’ve grown up too quickly. I know, I know. I got married young, but I honestly don’t even connect the fact that I’m married to any of the stress in my life. In fact, being with my husband has helped to reduce the stress in my life because I always know that I have someone going through all of this “growing up” with me.

I’m only twenty-one (well, I will be twenty-two in December), and Husband is only twenty-three (twenty-four in December). We’re so young, but I feel so rushy-rushy when it comes to my life. I want to have everything here and now. I want to finish school, buy/build a house, settle down, have a baby or two. BUT I’M ONLY TWENTY-ONE. I seriously have to give myself time-outs to remember that fact.

So, Husband and I have been talking. We’d really like to put a main focus on school right now and enjoy it because we never had the “college experience,” even though we’ve been in-and-out of college for years (three years for me and five years for him). We’re going to have to transfer to a university soon–there’s only so much a community college can offer–so we’ll have to move. This move may take place sooner than we had originally planned because we are so ready to move forward. Yes, this means we’ll be moving out of our rent-free house, so we’ll have to start paying rent again. Yes, I’m hoping to go down to just part-time work so that I can focus my energy on school and my LIFE. Yes, this means we won’t get to go out to eat as often and we’ll have to start budgeting. You know what, though? I’m learning to be okay with that. I’ve been getting a nice paycheck for so long that I’ve let money take over my life. I forgot about how we paid an enormous rent payment every month a couple years ago when we were barely making ANY money, and we seemed fine then.

I’m just ready to not let work take over my life for a little while. I want to focus on school and learning to sew and hiking with my husband on nice days like today (instead of feeling trapped in a cubicle).

I’m not sure when all of this will happen. We’re just in the beginning stages of planning/thinking about what to do next (which is why this post is mostly jumbled thoughts).

I’m a little bit excited, though, and I’m ready for a dash of adventure added to my life.

I’m from Florida. I was born there, and most of my family still lives there. It’s where my second home has always been–my Granny’s house–which I guess was always really my permanent home, since we moved around a lot. It’s a long story, but that house is no longer in our family. I miss it because there are so many memories in that house, but it wouldn’t be the same today, anyhow. That house held many Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners. It held many tears and the sounds of joyous laughter. It held the memory of when Granny took me into her room and gave me a gold locket when I “became a woman” at the age of eleven. It holds the memory of when Pawpaw woke up early one winter morning to spray the trees with the water hose–so we, his grandchildren, could see icicles hanging from the trees. It was where I was when my parents brought my little brother home from the hospital. It was also the last place I saw Granny.

I’m going to Florida next week with Husband. Since we’ve been together, this will make our third time visiting my “home state.” We went once in January 2008 and again in January 2010. Sadly, this will probably be the third time I’ve visited Florida in about five years. I rarely see my extended family. The trip is a 10-hour drive, at least, and it’s hard to find time to make the trip.

Though I’ve grown to love Tennessee as my “home state” over the years, I have a special place in my heart for Florida. I love the warm weather; I enjoy the busy-ness of my old hometown; I adore seeing my family–aunts, uncles, cousins. I love that when I go back, even though I was only twelve when we left, I know my way around like I’ve been driving there my whole life–I can even see the roads in my head right now. I love seeing the changes, though I sort of hate it at the same time. Sometimes, when I go back, I’d like it to be as if I were stepping back into my childhood, but it’s really not.

On Monday morning, Husband and I will be making the 10-hour trip to my hometown. We’ll be there until Friday, and I’m mostly looking forward to taking trips to places of my childhood … But I’m also looking forward to accepting the new parts and relaxing a little bit.

Don’t worry; I’ll take my camera to show you around.

This weekend was two parts fun, one part stressful. As I’m trying to maintain an optimistic approach on life (to lower stress levels), I’m going to focus on the good of the weekend.

Friday, I went to a baseball game (the Chattanooga Lookouts) with Husband, Sister, and my in-laws. It’s my brother-in-law’s last week at home before he moves into his dorm for school, so we wanted to go to a game for some added fun. I’m not a huge fan of baseball, but I’ve been wanting to go to a game all summer. To me, it is the perfect example of a fun, summer outing, and though the game went into extra innings, it was still fun. The weather cooled off a bit, and I was able to enjoy some chocolate ice cream in a plastic baseball cap. Unfortunately, I got hit in the leg with a foul ball, and it has left a bruise, BUT we gave the ball to a young boy sitting near us, and it made him the happiest person in the world. So, I suppose it was worth it.

Saturday was spent cleaning my house, which I don’t do often. I suddenly had the urge, though, so I didn’t deny it. In the midst of my cleaning, I had a lunch of an almond butter + blackberry jam sandwich along with a delicious strawberry & banana smoothie. My sister and I then spent the day watching movies that were on TV (Marley & Me, Mean Girls, 17 Again…)

Sunday, I forgot to take a photo for my 365 project. It was the first day of forgetting, but I did take a photo with my cell phone of Eris & Loki, so I may just have to use that instead of nothing at all. Sunday was mostly stressful, but I decided to smile through the stress and focus on what’s coming up: just one week of work and then I am off to Florida for vacation!

How was your weekend?

P.S. My Pawpaw’s sister contacted me through facebook, and since she knows I love to cook, she sent me a recipe for her mother’s (my great-grandmother’s!) blueberry pound cake.  I was beyond thrilled! You can bet I’ll be making it for dessert this week!

My granny, Nancy, found out she had cancer in May of 2004. On August 6, 2004, less than three months after her diagnosis, she took her last breath. Those three months consisted of emotions I didn’t know the human mind or body could convey. When I think back on my life, of life-changing moments for me–moments that completely changed the person I was–I can only think of those months.

It’s been six years since I saw her. It’s been six years and one day since I last spoke to her. I write about her often, but only in pieces. She is who makes up most of my favorite posts on this blog.

My granny was young when she died; she was in her fifties. At the time of her death, I was fifteen, and while I thought I knew everything, I knew absolutely nothing. I was selfish. In those three months, I went through periods of denial; I went through moments of determination–she was going to get through this; I went through moments of wanting her to die just so I could get on with my life. Like I said, I was fifteen, and I was selfish. I thought my entire world was shattering, but I failed to look on the outside. I failed to see how terrified my granny was. I failed to think of my dad, who was quickly losing his mother–the woman who gave him life. I failed to look into my pawpaw’s eyes and see the sadness that engulfed him because he knew he was losing his wife, his best friend. I only looked within, and I had rough moments.

It’s hard for me to recall a lot of how I felt in those three months, though I can remember what I felt when she did pass away. First, I felt relief. I was finally at a point where I wanted her to no longer feel pain, and I wanted to go through the healing process. Then, I felt anger at a god I wasn’t sure I believed in anymore. Then, I felt anger at myself for being so selfish. I soon felt intense sadness, and I didn’t know what life had to offer. I eventually found peace, but it took a long time. I’m not even exactly sure how long. I changed; I grew up. If you ask people close to me, they would tell you that I was a completely different person after that point in my life.

My granny was amazing woman. She was/is the most amazing woman I will know in my lifetime. She was opinionated, and everyone loved her. Everybody knew her as “Granny,” even if they weren’t related. She always had a table (and countertop) full of food at dinnertime, and there were always leftovers. She loved my pawpaw with an immense passion that I envy at times–I only hope I love Husband with that same passion. She loved him in a way a woman loves her husband after being with them since age seventeen. They were best friends, and when my pawpaw passed away eight months after Granny, I wasn’t surprised. He wanted to be with her, and that was their purpose in life.

Right before Granny died, she was happy. She was ready to go; she wanted the pain to be gone, and more importantly, she wanted to move on from this world on to a better place. Today, it’s a little easier, but I still miss her. I think about her daily, even if it’s just a passing thought, a fleeting memory. I plan on telling my children about her, and though I know I can never do her justice through my words, I will always continue to try.

It’s been six years since she took her last breath, but she’s still breathing.

Saturday, I gathered some fresh blueberries, cream cheese, whipping cream, sugar, vanilla extract, & a pie crust, and I made a delicious blueberry cream pie. It’s the perfect summer dessert, and everyone loved it. I have a feeling this will become a summer staple.

Sunday, I went to the movies to see (the hilarious!) Dinner for Schmucks with Husband, Sister, and Brother-in-law. It was definitely worth it, even though I wasn’t feeling great that evening.

Monday was a rough day for me. I left work early due to not feeling my best, and I went to lunch with Husband and bought Eat, Pray, Love. I’ve been wanting to read it, and I’d like to have it read before seeing the movie toward the end of the month. Also on Monday, my sister went to the doctor and had her first sonogram. She is a little over 10 weeks along now, and the due date for my little niece or nephew is February 27, 2011! If you have any advice for her, feel free to send it our way.

Over the past few days, I’ve also been participating in VEDA. I’m not fully participating, but I’m going to vlog as much as possible. You can see my YouTube channel here.

I hope everyone is enjoying their week. (Only a few days until the weekend!)

[Project 365]

Tuesday was a sleepy day; I wanted to spend time in my bed all day, but I couldn’t due to this thing called “work.” As soon as I got home, though, I took a short nap. It was glorious. | Wednesday brought a vintage Singer sewing machine from Husband. The machine was made in the 1950s (as far as I know), and it seems to work. I’m going to be participating in LA’s Home Ec sewing course, so Husband brought this home to get started on. | Thursday, Husband took me out to dinner to one of my favorite places: Greenlife Grocery (which is also a restaurant). I got a fruity poppy chicken wrap, and we shared some Cali rolls. (I secretly admit that I was hoping to catch a glimpse of Robert Pattinson, since he’s in Chattanooga, so I could use him as my 365 photo. Ah, well.)

And how was your week? Are you ready for August?